Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Uncle Dusty's Guide to 'The Princess Bride'

Several friends and I recently viewed, for the eleventy-fifth time, the modern classic ‘The Princess Bride’ in a park in San Francisco with 3,000 other citizens of the Bay Area.  If you’ve ever been to San Francisco in August, you know that nighttime outdoor activities require two things: a jacket and a tolerance for second-hand marijuana smoke. 

As I sat enjoying my picnic dinner with my posse, I gave much thought to the many lessons you learn through experiences and my repeat viewings of this particular movie have taught me many things.  So herewith I present Uncle Dusty’s Guide to 'The Princess Bride'.

1.       True love might be right under your nose.

2.       Having a giant for a friend is an awesome thing.  A rhyming giant is better still.

3.       Beef stew and a hot water/cold water treatment is apparently a cure for chronic drunkenness.

4.       Revenge is all-consuming and not healthy; however, the outcomes often elicit applause from a crowd.

5.       Love is somewhat like floating in silk into a giant’s arm…near four white horses.

6.       Hateful tyrants are typically cowards and seem to enjoy wearing light blue velvet to formal events.

7.       An out of control ego can cause your death.

8.       Never start a land war in Asia.

9.       Billy Crystal is sorta funny.

10.   It’s always better to have a wheelbarrow.

11.   Just because you don’t think someone is following you, doesn’t mean they aren’t.

12.   Albinos have historically had limited career options.

13.   Accents are really funny especially during a wedding.

14.   Most wars are based on false information and outright lies.

15.   Mostly dead is still alive. So if you’re not dead, you’re not done.

And that is all I’m saying.

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