Monday, October 27, 2014

Quinoa Reeves isn't any more ridiculous than Keanu, right?

                Earlier this month we had National Coming Out Day, that I did not celebrate in any specific fashion.  I don’t know why I didn’t, I just didn’t.  And yes, Shontyl Thomas, this is another missive about “the gay stuff”.  I will say, that this is only due to my inclusion in the LGBTQ community is one that has been placed on me by society and a perceived orientation.  I say perceived in that I am gay but I am celibate, almost asexual, but that would add another letter to our already long list so it’s not included because I am sometimes a lazy chronicler of life, y'all. 

                There has been a lot of discussion on the sheer quantity of gender assignments one can choose for your Facebook account.  There are reportedly many, many choices.  I haven’t gone to check as my gender hasn’t changed since I joined The Facebook in 2008.  But this is one of the things about which I have confusions and questions.

                For those who are Amish, LGBTQ stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bi-Sexual, Transgender and either Queer or Questioning (I’ve been unable to verify) and is supposed to include all other of the “All Others”.  And for what I’m about to say, I know I will get 46 kinds of anger and shade thrown at me, but this blog is about transparency and I’m just being as transparent as one can be considering I am only nude while showering and even then only out of societal pressure and habit.

                Acronyms are abbreviations that spell other words, like SCUBA (Self-contained under water breathing apparatus) or POSH (Port Out, Starboard Home).  Abbreviations that don’t spell other words are simply abbreviations.  LGBTQ is an abbreviation as far as I know; it may mean something in Russian but what, I am unsure.  Turnip, maybe?  Tractor? 

                Of the groups identified in this abbreviation, the L and the G, I get.  I am among the G, if you are adamant that I be assigned a group and seeing as most of you are Americans, you will categorize me whether I want to be or not.  The L is there; I’ve seen them; I’ve known them; I’ve gone to school with them; I’ve befriended them.  I even fought one in a bar in Austin but that was during my heathenistic days and that sordid story shall remain untold until my memoirs, coming in 2015, I hope.  These two, while sometimes exasperating, are understandable to me.  However, the B and the T, I do not get.  And we’ve already discussed I don’t even know what the Q is.

                But there are lots of things that I don’t get.  For example, I just don’t get:

  1. Vegans
  2. Why people in Palo Alto will stand in line for hours to eat at a trendy but mediocre restaurant
  3. Dreadlocks
  4. Our love affair with quinoa
  5. The fan base for Flourless Chocolate Cake
  6. The continued appeal of Keanu Reeves
  7. Why Viola Davis doesn’t have an Oscar
  8. Why, when I have 800 friends on Facebook, do I see less than 20 people’s posts in my feed
  9. Why Robbie Williams has never been a big star in America
  10. Why people overuse the word genius
  11. Why is took so long for me to discover salted caramel
  12. Why designers make shirts in extra slim fit XXL.  Who buys these shirts?
  13. How reality stars who fistfight on camera, avoid jail
  14. Why some people find it odd that I always buy a color-coordinated trash can for the back seat of my car.  Where do you put your trash for pity's sake?
  15. Why Belinda Carlisle still can’t dance after fronting the Go-Gos for 30 years
                    And I’ve realized in my 44 short years on this planet, that it’s okay for me to not necessarily get everything.  Life is a process and I plan on sharing all my growth and allow you to watch me mature right before your very eyes; all 54 of you.  So go on being yourselves, B and T.  You, too, Q, whoever you are.  If you see me out and about please identify yourself so I can at least see what you’re wearing.  That should help in my assessment of “getting” you. 
                    And that is all I’m saying for now. 

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