This is Why I Can't Meditate

          I’ve recently started reading a book called “Wherever You Go, There You Are.”  It’s all about meditation.  Ben meditates and it relaxes him and keeps him on an even keel.  I think we can all I agree I need to do something to get similar results. 

I tried to meditate once but I couldn’t get my mind to turn off.  Reading the book, it said meditation isn’t trying to turn off your mind, it’s about being in the “Now”.  I can be in the “Now”, surely.

            I decided to give it a try. I close my eyes and try to think of nothing in particular.  I can’t think of nothing, that’s not a thing, but I thought I would just see where my quiet mind goes. It went to some interesting places.  I waited until my attempt (about 10 minutes) was finished before I wrote down my thoughts. 

            This is what it’s like to be in my head.

           It’s quiet in here.  That’s good.  It’s supposed to be quiet.

Even the loud neighbors are quiet. 

I remember the time Ben and I walked the neighborhood and that one house had someone playing the drums in the garage.  Really loudly.  They had guitars on the walls.  Are they in a band?  It’s a really nice house.

Charlie Sheen had a piano in his house on “Two & a Half Men”.  He was a jingle writer.

My first year in SoCal, Jamie and I met a jingle writer outside a restaurant in Brentwood.

His license plate said JNGL WRTR or something.  He wrote the music for a lot of commercials.

I hated “Two & a Half Men”.  Stupid and Vulgar.

I can’t believe Jon Cryer was in it.  I expected more from Ducky.

And he won several Emmys.  Why?  

Tituss Burgess should have won an Emmy.

Why didn’t he win?  He was hilarious.

Carol Kane is weirdly funny on “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt”.

I remember one episode where they go in search of fruit.

Her boyfriend’s name was Artie, maybe?

Busy Phillips was in several episodes. She’s funny.  Underrated.

Her book was pretty good. 

Better than Rachel Dratch’s and Ellie Kemper’s.

About the same level of funny as Amy Poehler’s.

Nowhere near as funny as Tina Fey's “Bossypants”.

Tina Fey is the Queen!

I miss 30 Rock

Is that on Netflix?  It needs to be.

I have it on DVD, don't I?  

I can’t say I felt completely refreshed, but I also can’t say that I didn’t.  I won’t be refreshed until I leave this apartment wearing a cute outfit, do you hear me?  And I won't do that until we have Coro-NO MORE!  Stay at Home, Ridiculous People!

            I just remembered Meditation is the name of the horse Rosalind Russell rode in the movie “Auntie Mame".  You know when she visits her fiancée Beau’s family in Georgia?  

            I think I just got my starting thought for my next meditation session.  That's how you do that, right?